But that just means... well, it makes it easier to understand it, I think, when you see other people struggling. And it makes it easier to want to help them.
[he shifts uncomfortably. there is still tension there, obviously, but it seems like.... the large amounts of distrust and bitterness are gradually fading.]
.... I still need to talk to him. After... everything.
But I know that if someone talked to Takeru like how people talked to Ming Yi-san today, I would've been upset the entire day.
...he's the idiot that used a power like that on you at a trial. Honestly, what was he thinking...?
[she seems a little hurt, but -
there's no real heat to the complaint.]
I don't know why he did that to you, but I know he wouldn't lie about it. So... I knew... even if people were being harsh with him, it would turn out alright. [...] I hope he's apologized, at least.
Or that he apologizes, when you do talk to him. If he doesn't, tell me. I'll beat an apology out of him.
[ . . . . he just runs a hand through his hair at that.]
... he apologized. I... The timing was bad. It was right after I heard from Gu-san about Childe's power, and then Endorsi about Mahito's. So it led to that whole thing about math, and it being tied to Eleanor-san's murder and—
[what a fucking mess that was. he just looks irritated about it now before he focuses again.]
.... but no one wants to be scared about what could happen to their best friend. No one wants to have to face that loss.
So even while we were pursuing the truth... because of what I said to people - he was in the hot seat for a while.
I really am sorry. [ . . . ] I don't know if what I did was right. Or if it would turn out right. I.... I didn't want anything to happen to him, but I know those words would be hollow if something did.
around that point in that explanation, her face falls, and she turns her head slightly to look at one of the constellations in the planetarium. she doesn't recognize it, but that's okay.]
If something happened to him, I...
[her voice trails off. she can't quite bring herself to finish that sentence; her shoulders hunch, like she's trying to curl in on herself, or make herself a little smaller.]
...nothing happened. [she settles on that, after a few long moments, and breathes out.] We found - enough of the truth, in the end. It doesn't answer every question about the math, but it answers enough of them that I think he's clear.
So... he's safe. And you have time to figure out how you want to work things out between the two of you.
[ . . . . he watches her closely at that - because it's what people don't say that really counts in moments like this, he thinks. some part of his heart aches - the guilt, the responsibility - even though the moment has passed.
after a moment, he tries to put a hand on her shoulder]
.... I think he's clear, too. I think that - something weird happened, but I don't think he's lying to me anymore.
[ . . . ]
I'm going to talk to him. I.... I don't like feeling like I'm being used, so I jumped to a pretty bad conclusion because of the timing and the lies. Not all of it was his fault.
I just.... know I had to say something to you, too.
[as a friend. as someone who knows what it's like, to lose your dearest friend to the world]
[(grumbles about falling asleep before i'm ready to)
she smiles faintly, when he puts the hand on her shoulder, and doesn't shrug it off. it's - it could have been bad, if ming yi had been voted for. but mineo had been right to be upset about his ... prank? was it a prank? it baffles her that he'd do something like that in a trial, but...
either way, she can't really blame him for it. especially not when it turned out alright.]
...I appreciate it. [...] I know it's... not really my place to say much about it.
But - he's... [aaa, how does she say this? she doesn't want to make excuses for him, because really, what the hell was that timing, ming yi.] ...he's lived a hard life. And for a really long time, back home, I was the closest person to him.
I think... being around this many people and actually having them... you know, talk with him, interact with him... it's, it's different. A lot of other gods didn't pay much attention to him at all, even when he was right there. He's... always had a way of brushing it off.
[...]
But I guess what I'm trying to say is - he's not the sort of person to do or say things lightly. So... if he's apologized to you already, that's a good sign. He wouldn't do something like that insincerely...
[he listens closely to this, and he nods in - understanding? at the very least, it does not seem to surprise mineo that ming yi had a hard life. it doesn't seem to surprise him to hear about what the other had been through.
he squeezes sqx's shoulder once in reassurance, gently, before he lets go and lets his gaze drift up to the stars]
..... I don't trust people that easily. I know that people probably think that I do, and I don't really mind - I like people super easily. I'll give them that.
But ah... someone that I liked the most in the whole world - the person that you saw.... die, in that memory.... He lied to me more than anybody else. He would praise me, and say that I'm doing a good job, but I found out later he was jealous of me. And... I'm not even mad about the lies. I just wish that if he'd told me the truth, maybe... he could still be alive. Maybe I could've reached out, and helped him.
[ . . . ]
I have trouble... believing in people.
I think it hurt more with Ming Yi-san because I... really, really wanted to believe that he'd never hurt me, or he would at least tell me if it was a joke. I can take a joke. I would be the victim of his pranks anyday, but the timing of it all.... [doing that to him on saturday, telling him the next friday]
.... It really messed me up. So even though I know that him apologizing was really important.... I don't think I heard it.... so I have to apologize to him too.
[me staring at this thread like, wow, this sure would be a different tag if they were having this conversation during emotionshare week.
except, maybe it's not that different. because although he can't feel what she's feeling, there's a mixture of both empathy and sympathy on shi qingxuan's face that she is not at all able to hide. she can, unfortunately, relate to what he's feeling.
it would be nice, she thinks, if no one had to feel this way at all.]
I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that.
[to be lied to by the person you're closest to, the person you look up to the most... to know that if they'd just said something, maybe things could have turned out differently, maybe there wouldn't have needed to be any bloodshed, maybe... maybe...]
...and I'm really sorry that he was an idiot and made you think about that again. He really shouldn't have done that.
For what it's worth, I... hope you two are able to work things out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiftingwinds) wrote2021-02-10 07:01 pm
no subject
[she tilts her head up to look at the stars.]
But that just means... well, it makes it easier to understand it, I think, when you see other people struggling. And it makes it easier to want to help them.
no subject
.... I'm sorry to you too, Shi-san.
For what I put you through today.
no subject
[???]
no subject
All the doubt - on Ming Yi-san.
[he shifts uncomfortably. there is still tension there, obviously, but it seems like.... the large amounts of distrust and bitterness are gradually fading.]
.... I still need to talk to him. After... everything.
But I know that if someone talked to Takeru like how people talked to Ming Yi-san today, I would've been upset the entire day.
no subject
[she seems a little hurt, but -
there's no real heat to the complaint.]
I don't know why he did that to you, but I know he wouldn't lie about it. So... I knew... even if people were being harsh with him, it would turn out alright. [...] I hope he's apologized, at least.
Or that he apologizes, when you do talk to him. If he doesn't, tell me. I'll beat an apology out of him.
no subject
... he apologized. I... The timing was bad. It was right after I heard from Gu-san about Childe's power, and then Endorsi about Mahito's. So it led to that whole thing about math, and it being tied to Eleanor-san's murder and—
[what a fucking mess that was. he just looks irritated about it now before he focuses again.]
.... but no one wants to be scared about what could happen to their best friend. No one wants to have to face that loss.
So even while we were pursuing the truth... because of what I said to people - he was in the hot seat for a while.
I really am sorry. [ . . . ] I don't know if what I did was right. Or if it would turn out right. I.... I didn't want anything to happen to him, but I know those words would be hollow if something did.
no subject
around that point in that explanation, her face falls, and she turns her head slightly to look at one of the constellations in the planetarium. she doesn't recognize it, but that's okay.]
If something happened to him, I...
[her voice trails off. she can't quite bring herself to finish that sentence; her shoulders hunch, like she's trying to curl in on herself, or make herself a little smaller.]
...nothing happened. [she settles on that, after a few long moments, and breathes out.] We found - enough of the truth, in the end. It doesn't answer every question about the math, but it answers enough of them that I think he's clear.
So... he's safe. And you have time to figure out how you want to work things out between the two of you.
no subject
after a moment, he tries to put a hand on her shoulder]
.... I think he's clear, too. I think that - something weird happened, but I don't think he's lying to me anymore.
[ . . . ]
I'm going to talk to him. I.... I don't like feeling like I'm being used, so I jumped to a pretty bad conclusion because of the timing and the lies. Not all of it was his fault.
I just.... know I had to say something to you, too.
[as a friend. as someone who knows what it's like, to lose your dearest friend to the world]
no subject
she smiles faintly, when he puts the hand on her shoulder, and doesn't shrug it off. it's - it could have been bad, if ming yi had been voted for. but mineo had been right to be upset about his ... prank? was it a prank? it baffles her that he'd do something like that in a trial, but...
either way, she can't really blame him for it. especially not when it turned out alright.]
...I appreciate it. [...] I know it's... not really my place to say much about it.
But - he's... [aaa, how does she say this? she doesn't want to make excuses for him, because really, what the hell was that timing, ming yi.] ...he's lived a hard life. And for a really long time, back home, I was the closest person to him.
I think... being around this many people and actually having them... you know, talk with him, interact with him... it's, it's different. A lot of other gods didn't pay much attention to him at all, even when he was right there. He's... always had a way of brushing it off.
[...]
But I guess what I'm trying to say is - he's not the sort of person to do or say things lightly. So... if he's apologized to you already, that's a good sign. He wouldn't do something like that insincerely...
no subject
he squeezes sqx's shoulder once in reassurance, gently, before he lets go and lets his gaze drift up to the stars]
..... I don't trust people that easily. I know that people probably think that I do, and I don't really mind - I like people super easily. I'll give them that.
But ah... someone that I liked the most in the whole world - the person that you saw.... die, in that memory.... He lied to me more than anybody else. He would praise me, and say that I'm doing a good job, but I found out later he was jealous of me. And... I'm not even mad about the lies. I just wish that if he'd told me the truth, maybe... he could still be alive. Maybe I could've reached out, and helped him.
[ . . . ]
I have trouble... believing in people.
I think it hurt more with Ming Yi-san because I... really, really wanted to believe that he'd never hurt me, or he would at least tell me if it was a joke. I can take a joke. I would be the victim of his pranks anyday, but the timing of it all.... [doing that to him on saturday, telling him the next friday]
.... It really messed me up. So even though I know that him apologizing was really important.... I don't think I heard it.... so I have to apologize to him too.
no subject
except, maybe it's not that different. because although he can't feel what she's feeling, there's a mixture of both empathy and sympathy on shi qingxuan's face that she is not at all able to hide. she can, unfortunately, relate to what he's feeling.
it would be nice, she thinks, if no one had to feel this way at all.]
I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that.
[to be lied to by the person you're closest to, the person you look up to the most... to know that if they'd just said something, maybe things could have turned out differently, maybe there wouldn't have needed to be any bloodshed, maybe... maybe...]
...and I'm really sorry that he was an idiot and made you think about that again. He really shouldn't have done that.
For what it's worth, I... hope you two are able to work things out.