[it's a good thing they can't see, maybe. because shi qingxuan's expression falls entirely at that, but the kiss to her palm draws out a soft gasp, which buys her some time before she answers.]
...then I'm lucky, to be able to have you as a friend.
[stop distracting her with kisses, douman. well, at least they can't see the way her cheeks heat up.]
...no, it just means... maybe it just means you need more time to learn another way. [...] ...but what you came here intending to learn, that's... A good thing. If that's what you want, then I think you'll be okay.
[she cannot tell if they're being literal or if that's an innuendo. like two weeks ago "innuendo" wouldn't have even crossed her mind, though, so. progress?]
...it can hurt, but it can make you stronger, too. [she takes a breath. calm down, sqx, they literally don't have eyes right now, don't get carried away just from the feelings of their lips on your palm.] Ah... do you really think you would do that...?
anyway she's staring at her hand on their chest and focusing on that and also their heartbeat because if she looks up and sees their eye holes staring at her she'll probably cry of fear.]
...well, I came here to deal with... the monster you saw in my memory, but...
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[They just draw her hand up to their bloody face, and rest a cheek against it, like a child seeking affection.]
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for now, she stays close, cupping their cheek with her hand for as long as they seem to want her there.]
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[They turn their head, kissing her palm.]
You know...I didn't ever think I could be friends to a god. [A huff.] I've only ever been an advisor to them, I think.
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...then I'm lucky, to be able to have you as a friend.
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[They smile, and its...not exactly a nice one.]
I've harmed many, you know. You saw that.
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[and she believed them!]
You're more free to do as you wish now - so, I think what you do here is more important than what happened in the past.
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[Another kiss, light, to her fingers.]
And if I do something terrible...what then? I just can't escape my own nature? After all, this humble priest wasn't made to do good in this world.
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...no, it just means... maybe it just means you need more time to learn another way. [...] ...but what you came here intending to learn, that's... A good thing. If that's what you want, then I think you'll be okay.
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Love is a good thing? Ah, but I heard love hurts, you know? And besides...sometimes I can't help myself.
[They smile against her hand.]
I'm a carnivorous beast, you know. If I'm not careful, I'll just eat someone right up.
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...it can hurt, but it can make you stronger, too. [she takes a breath. calm down, sqx, they literally don't have eyes right now, don't get carried away just from the feelings of their lips on your palm.] Ah... do you really think you would do that...?
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[And a laugh - their breath is hot against her skin.]
Who knows? Sometimes I feel like something takes over me, sometimes. I act by instinct.
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[she is steadfastly attempting to not get distracted by their breath on her skin. they're injured. please.]
...ah, everyone does that, sometimes. It's - just a matter of deciding what it is you want to do, despite those instincts...
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[They pull her hand down to their own chest - the clown certainly has a heart, judging by the heartbeat underneath.]
What do you want, most of all?
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[wait, when did this get turned around on her. her gaze flicks from her hand on their chest up to their face, and then back down again.]
What do... I want?
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[They can't see, but they'll stare at her with those...holes. Yikes.]
What do you want?
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anyway she's staring at her hand on their chest and focusing on that and also their heartbeat because if she looks up and sees their eye holes staring at her she'll probably cry of fear.]
...well, I came here to deal with... the monster you saw in my memory, but...
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[I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING]
Is there something else you have in mind? [A sigh.] Qingxuan...
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...I want to see how everything plays out in this place, first, before I decide.
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[They hum.]
I hope that whatever it is you want, its close at hand.
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[she's quiet for a few moments after that, and when she does speak, her voice is very quiet.]
I hope so, too.
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[She's silent, and they tighten the grip around her hand just a little more.]
Qingxuan? Are you alright?
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I'm okay.
[it's kind of them to be worried, though. they're the one injured here? what the heck is even happening.]
...how are you feeling? Hopefully we'll be able to use one of those pods for you, soon.
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[Despite having no eyes.]
Some of the rest had more serious wounds. I can tolerate this! Its better than beheading, haha!
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[she doesn't know what goes on in cyoas, for all she knows it could have!!]
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[DON'T JUST CASUALLY ADMIT THIS]
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