shiftingwinds | [7rings] a single pc for ryan

-Shi?

[he sounds a little amused when he speaks up. also yes, it's attached to the wall.]

Did you lose something back there?

[damn. that makes it more complicated.]

Ahaha... no, but I was trying to see if there was a way I might be able to take it home with me.

Oh- probably not, it'd still need a power source, y'know?

[he's quiet a moment, though.]

...are you going to be okay, if you go back?

Oh, right...

[power source... hmm. if she goes back, it's not like she'll be a god anymore, so she won't be able to power it that way...]

...I think I will be. Ahaha, He-xiong actually suggested something I hadn't thought of. When I said I was thinking about going back to prevent my brother from switching our fates, he said I could just go back and defeat the monster, instead. So there wouldn't have been any need to.

-I didn't think of that, either...

[well. he also didn't know a monster was the problem, but- look, he's just a twink.]

So you're sure you'll still be safe? It won't just-- give you another bad fate because you're still there?

[he likes her a lot and he worries, okay.]

...it better not. That would be really annoying! But if it's dead, it can't curse me. So it will probably be okay.

Probably.

[he does sound relieved, though; it sounds like it'll probably be fine. hopefully.]

-d'you still want to go, even if your life is going to be different?

[unless he xuan is trying to trick her into becoming powerless. i don't know what he's up to, honestly. but it's probably fine?]

...I'll admit I'm a little nervous, but... [hmm.] How do I say this...? It's better, I think, if I'm able to right this wrong. He'll be able to live the sort of life he should have had, and...

[there'll be one less supreme ghost king out there...? and one more hardworking god.]

...yeah. I can understand that. I- think it's really good of you to do, honestly.

[this is one of the reasons he likes shi qingxuan so much?

after a slight pause, though, he finally says-]

If you're ever not sure about it, though, um. -if I do still get anything out of this, you know I would let you come with me, right?

[oh -

that actually does catch her by surprise? ...maybe it shouldn't, but it does.]

...really? Thank you - that's very kind of you to offer, Ryan.

I, um. I don't really have anything else I need, I think Shiya would probably use theirs to come with me-? But. I can try to at least make sure you can visit, too.

[she's one of the people he would really, really like to keep seeing, after all.]

Being able to visit would be nice, ahaha. I'm not really a fan of permanent farewells.

...neither am I.

[another little pause, rubbing at the back of his neck.]

Especially, um. With people I care about.

[oh gmail hid this from me

anyway she's stupidly assuming he means douman]

...it sounds like you won't have to, though.

I won't as long as I still get to see you, yeah.

[sqx I'm crying. but it's fine because he has more to say about this anyway.]

I-- it meant a lot to me that you didn't want me to be alone. I mean- I liked you before that! But. Nobody... nobody else did that for me, Shi. You've always been there.

[oh! oh. that's definitely a lot more difficult to misunderstand.

lucky for ryan that beau got revived, since she's the one using her wish on worldhopping!]

I'm glad I could help you. It's - awful, to feel alone, especially among so many other people.

...it is. And I know I didn't, um, exactly make things easier on you since I didn't let you confess, so, um. I'm sorry I did that to you, I'm sure that also felt-- you know. A little alienating, with not being able to tell anyone about it.

[he still feels kind of awful she got punched for it and that anyone was mad at her, when he initiated it...]

You definitely made me feel less alone, though. I just, um. I didn't want-- it didn't really feel right to get to the end of all this and not tell you anything?

[he's. bad at this. but he's trying very hard.]

...I understand why you did it - you were... trying to protect me, right? It's...

[she can't say it's okay, because she has a lot of conflicting feelings about people trying to protect her. thanks, shi wudu. but she's trying, at least, to understand. she can acknowledge that even if she didn't necessarily like how it turned out, he was doing what he could with what he had. she lets her voice trail off, unsure how to finish that.

but! she's also bad at this, and is assuming by not tell you anything he means apologizing for the gag order. i don't have the words to describe how head empty shi qingxuan is, teej.]

If I had to make the choices I did again, I'd... make the same ones. [she'd still have chosen to switch her alignment, and she'd still have agreed to kill eleanor for the greater good.] I think I might have tried doing some parts of it a little differently [for example, a cleaner murder, and hopefully finding a way to get him to let her confess?] but the important parts - I don't think I could have brought myself to leave them to someone else.

... good. I think feeling like that means that you made the right choices for you. I think it's the same for me.

[he takes her hands, if she lets him, giving her a little smile, though it's slightly nervous. she's not saying anything?? oh god is this her subtly trying not to talk about it. should he just be more direct.]

But, um, Shi-- you get what I mean when I say I like you, right?

[

oh. well. she thought she did, but the fact that he's asking clues her in that she probably didn't.]

Um... I thought I did, but it sounds like I was wrong...?

I meant, um.

[being direct about it is hard, actually, he's struggling with it a little? until he finally manages to just blurt out-]

I meant I have feelings for you-! If that makes things weird I'm sorry for that too--

[

she's so confused]

But, you said that... Douman is coming with you...?

[doesn't he have feelings for them...? she'd assume he has feelings for them. especially with the nickname!!]

I'm - I'm flattered, I really am! ...I just didn't think...

[she's a FOOL]

I mean- to be fair, I didn't really say anything before, I wasn't sure how it'd go over... but, um, I didn't want to-- to leave this without ever saying, either?

[fear of rejection is a lot, especially when he's had multiple rejections here. he just reaches up to rub at the back of his neck.]

...Shiya knows, though. That I feel that way about both of you. I asked them first, before I ever said anything, or offered for you to come with me if you wanted, and- they didn't mind.

Right. It's important to not leave things unsaid.

[she smiles, then leans over to kiss his cheek]

Thank you for telling me, Ryan. I care a lot about you - and I don't want you to doubt that. [there's a "but," though; unfortunately, the chances of her walking out of here with any kind of ship were always going to be slim.] I want you to be happy, with someone who will put you first, always.

[and that's probably not going to be her. she has wrongs she needs to right, after all, and though she hopes it'll go the way she plans for it to, she won't know how that turns out until she tries it.]

...and it sounds like Douman may be that person, for you. [...] Things are a bit... complicated, between the two of us, after everything. I'm not sure they would be very happy if I agreed to come. But they must want you to be happy, too, if they're willing to let you invite me.

[7rings] a single pc for ryan

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