shiftingwinds | [7rings] catchall for douman

...You never did like being called Lady Windmaster, did you.

[A lofty title, but it was something that was given for that moment in the library, with Limbo. But otherwise, she is just...]

[Shi Qingxuan. She's just Shi Qingxuan.]

Alright. A-alright. [A nervous shudder.] I'll believe in you. In the person you are. In the person I...cherish, yes.

[They pull one of her hands towards their lips and kiss the back of it, lightly.]

[that moment in the library had been more than just a combination of two of her sins.

gluttony - despite how easily she was flustered, she'd been hungry for more of what limbo had been able to make her feel. pride - she'd taken great pride in making them beg for more just by stepping on them.

but her third sin had been despair.

that - and not pride - had been the reason for the title. being addressed by the title that she'd recently learned that she didn't deserve had fed into her despair more than almost anything could have, at that point.

douman is right; she didn't like it. before, she might have. now, it rings as hollow as anything else she'd thought that she had achieved for herself.

...but the person she is is another story. her expression softens, as they pull her hand toward their lips, and she lets out a breath.

the lady windmaster had countless believers, before, and may still retain some if she's replaced quickly in the heavens after returning home. shi qingxuan has fewer, but each one is all the more precious.

she tiptoes up to kiss douman's cheek.]

...thank you, Douman. I cherish you, too.

...

[A sweet kiss. As expected. But this is a person who must make their penance. Even if things were different than what they supposed, about her, she still murdered someone. She still allowed evil to thrive, blind to it.]

[But the kiss is still sweet, like an apple in summer.]

[Douman opens their mouth, closes it. Its hard to know what to say.]

[They settle for just giving her a light kiss to the lips, instead. Light, like feathers.]

Thank you.

[she isn't sure what she's expecting in response to that - another kiss to her hand, perhaps, if anything. the kiss to her lips catches her by surprise, even as feather-light as it is, and there's a moment, after they pull away, where she just stares up at them.

...how different would things have been, she wonders, if...

...

well, no. there's no making anything different; things happened the way that they did.]

...take care of yourself, okay? And of Ryan. [...] I'll be looking forward to seeing the both of you happy, when I visit.

[Somewhere, maybe, the quiet dream of a voracious shadow of humanity stands for a moment on faltering feet, awake for just a moment, before disappearing completely, satisfied.]

[Douman swallows, and nods.]

...Yes. Of course. [They hold onto her hands, giving them a squeeze.] I will do everything in my power for that.

Then I know the two of you will be just fine.

[she smiles, and gives their hands a squeeze in return.]

I believe in you, Ashiya Douman.

...Thank you.

[When has...someone ever said that to them?]

Qingxuan... [And their voice cracks, as they continue.] This humble priest is...happy they met someone like you.

I'm truly happy to have met you, as well.

[the fact of the matter is, these past two months have been full of suffering. but there have been some bright spots among it, and -

in spite of just how complicated everything between them is, meeting douman is one of those spots that shines very, very brightly.]

[A sigh.]

[Yes, throughout it all...the misery, the suffering, the regret, there are people here that care about them.]

[And what a great fate that is.]

...You're going back to your home, right?

Yes.

[that's the plan until luca and yuri kidnap her, anyway!]

...I need to settle things with Ming-xiong... and with my brother, too.

[They frown almost instantly at the name.]

Settle how?

...I'm not sure just yet.

[but she's still got a wish to use. she can figure it out.]

It depends on what is and isn't possible with the wish. But at this point... I know what was done, and he knows what was done, but my brother has never once admitted it.

He... needs to take responsibility for what happened, too.

Your brother...

[There's something tense in their expression.]

He needs to take responsibility for what he did to him, too.

[she puts her hand to her throat and nods once.]

...mm. I can't run from what was done to him in my name, and I can't run from the person who did those things to him in my name.

[...]

I'm done with running.

...You're a braver person than I, Qingxuan.

[...]

But please...run if you feel in danger. Do not even hesitate. Your life is on the line, you know.

[haha, no.]

I'll be okay. [...] I know what to expect, and what to protect myself from. It will work out.

...I believe in you, Qingxuan. Though it pains me to feel that I cannot be there to help.

Don't...

[...don't be pained, she wants to say.]

Knowing that you're waiting for me to come back is a big help. If I have to survive to see you again, then - I can't let myself get complacent, right? I can't let myself carelessly die.

And you'll be safer, away from it. You think I want you in danger? The whole reason I came here was to prevent my friends from being in danger!

...That's true.

[Staying alive to see someone else...that is motivation, for sure.]

B-but Qingxuan...

[POUTING]

I mean, I understand, but I can help...

I know you can! ...and I appreciate that you even want to, after everything.

[she pouts right back at them]

But if you think I'm letting you get hurt... think again. No way! Also, I couldn't ever look Ryan in the eye if I let so much as a scratch get on you because you were helping me.

I mean, Ryan told me about...what really happened, so...

[And WOW. Well. Um. She has a point.]

Maybe both Ryan and I could help you so that he won't be mad...?

...letting two people I care about put themselves in danger trying to help me would be even worse!

[she will not stop pouting]

My whole life, people have helped me. Sometimes I knew about it, and sometimes I didn't, and... often, it turned out worse than it should have.

It's about time I helped myself.

It isn't a sin to let people help you, Qingxuan...

[POUTS MORE THIS IS JUST A POUTING CONTEST]

Sometimes you can't do things on your lonesome. That's all I want to say.

[she has 557 years of pouting experience she WILL win this one]

You're right about that, but - I don't want to just keep relying on others without ever trying to do it for myself.

I understand that...

[>8I]

Its just the principle of the matter!

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