[she'll. try to keep it at concern? she gives their hand another squeeze.]
Friends support each other. So - I know it, you'll definitely come out of this. [they'll get healed, and... they can work on their Omi Trauma... it'll be fine.] You will.
[it's also different from person to person, she assumes. how to love isn't really something she's ever had to learn, but - she's met a lot of different types of people in her time!
but the only way to never learn is to not try, so.]
[it's a good thing they can't see, maybe. because shi qingxuan's expression falls entirely at that, but the kiss to her palm draws out a soft gasp, which buys her some time before she answers.]
...then I'm lucky, to be able to have you as a friend.
[stop distracting her with kisses, douman. well, at least they can't see the way her cheeks heat up.]
...no, it just means... maybe it just means you need more time to learn another way. [...] ...but what you came here intending to learn, that's... A good thing. If that's what you want, then I think you'll be okay.
[she cannot tell if they're being literal or if that's an innuendo. like two weeks ago "innuendo" wouldn't have even crossed her mind, though, so. progress?]
...it can hurt, but it can make you stronger, too. [she takes a breath. calm down, sqx, they literally don't have eyes right now, don't get carried away just from the feelings of their lips on your palm.] Ah... do you really think you would do that...?
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[a beat.]
It's impossible not to be concerned.
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[Douman shakes their head.]
I have found that concern can tip over into pity, and...I hate being pitied. But nevertheless...I appreciate it, Qingxuan.
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[she'll. try to keep it at concern? she gives their hand another squeeze.]
Friends support each other. So - I know it, you'll definitely come out of this. [they'll get healed, and... they can work on their Omi Trauma... it'll be fine.] You will.
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...Will I.
[They sound doubtful.]
Nothing can return to the way it was, hm.
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You will. Things may not be able to be exactly as they were, but you're still here. [...] How you proceed from here is up to you, but...
You're here. That's something.
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[Isn't that a nice sentiment.]
Qingxuan...did I ever tell you why I came to this place?
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and then remembers they can't see it. please. please let their eyes be healed soon.]
No... you didn't.
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...
I came here because I wanted to learn how to love.
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...these circumstances aren't the best for that, are they...
[she doesn't let go of their hand, though.]
But you haven't given up on that, have you?
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[Even though that's fun, in its own way.]
I don't know! You know...I don't know! Its much harder than I expected!
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[it's also different from person to person, she assumes. how to love isn't really something she's ever had to learn, but - she's met a lot of different types of people in her time!
but the only way to never learn is to not try, so.]
But... in the end, it's worth it, I think.
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[A squeeze of the hand.]
I...I want nothing more than that. I don't want to fail, Qingxuan.
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[she squeezes their hand in return.]
I believe in you, Douman.
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[They just draw her hand up to their bloody face, and rest a cheek against it, like a child seeking affection.]
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for now, she stays close, cupping their cheek with her hand for as long as they seem to want her there.]
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[They turn their head, kissing her palm.]
You know...I didn't ever think I could be friends to a god. [A huff.] I've only ever been an advisor to them, I think.
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...then I'm lucky, to be able to have you as a friend.
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[They smile, and its...not exactly a nice one.]
I've harmed many, you know. You saw that.
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[and she believed them!]
You're more free to do as you wish now - so, I think what you do here is more important than what happened in the past.
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[Another kiss, light, to her fingers.]
And if I do something terrible...what then? I just can't escape my own nature? After all, this humble priest wasn't made to do good in this world.
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...no, it just means... maybe it just means you need more time to learn another way. [...] ...but what you came here intending to learn, that's... A good thing. If that's what you want, then I think you'll be okay.
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Love is a good thing? Ah, but I heard love hurts, you know? And besides...sometimes I can't help myself.
[They smile against her hand.]
I'm a carnivorous beast, you know. If I'm not careful, I'll just eat someone right up.
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...it can hurt, but it can make you stronger, too. [she takes a breath. calm down, sqx, they literally don't have eyes right now, don't get carried away just from the feelings of their lips on your palm.] Ah... do you really think you would do that...?
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[And a laugh - their breath is hot against her skin.]
Who knows? Sometimes I feel like something takes over me, sometimes. I act by instinct.
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[she is steadfastly attempting to not get distracted by their breath on her skin. they're injured. please.]
...ah, everyone does that, sometimes. It's - just a matter of deciding what it is you want to do, despite those instincts...
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